All About Addressing

Addressing a Single Guest:

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SINGLE

• Ms. Emily Smith

• Mr. Jack Smith

• Mx. Taylor Smith

* Note: Mx. is a title for those who do not identify as a particular gender, or for people who simply don't want to be identified by gender. 

* Roommates: Guests over the age of 18 should receive their own invitation, even if they are living in the same house!

 

SINGLE, WITH PLUS ONE

• Ms. Emily Smith and Guest

* If you are allowing your single guest the opportunity to bring a plus one, simply add “and Guest.” If they are a couple or you know the name of the guest, you can simply address them as so. List the person you are closes to first. 

 

SINGLE, WITH CHILDREN (UNDER 18)

• Mr. Jack Smith (line break) Adam, Mia, Matthew

* Use a separate line for children under 18. Children over 18 should receive their

   own invitation.

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WIDOWED WOMAN

• Mrs. Jack Smith

• Mrs. Emily Smith

• Ms. Emily Smith

* If you are unsure which she prefers, use "Mrs. (late husband's given name) + (late husband's surname)

 

DIVORCED WOMAN

• Mrs. Emily Smith

• Ms. Emily Alder (maiden name)

* Both Mrs. and Ms. are acceptable, and whichever name (married or maiden) she decided to keep. Ask what she prefers!

 

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Addressing Couples:

 

UNMARRIED, COHABITING:

• Mr. Jack Smith and Ms. Emily Alder

• Ms. Emily Alder and Mr. Jack Smith

• Ms. Emily Smith and Guest

* If you know the name of the person’s significant other, simply address them as so! If you are unsure, add “and Guest.”

* List the person you are closest to first. 

* If the names are too long to fit on one line, separate them and add “and” to the second line.

 

MARRIED:

• Mr. and Mrs. Jack Smith (most formal)

• Mr. and Mrs. Smith (less formal)

• Emily and Jack Smith (least formal)

* Note that the man's first name (if using) should not be separated from his last name.​

 

MARRIED, SHE USES HER MAIDEN NAME:

• Mr. Jack Smith and Mrs. Emily Alder

* Either name can be listed first

 

MARRIED, WITH CHILDREN (UNDER 18):

• Mr. and Mrs. Jack Smith (line break) Allison, Miriam, and Thomas

* Use a separate line for children

* Titles for children under 18 aren’t necessary. If you’d like to use honorifics for children, you can use “Miss” for girls, “master” for boys under the age of 12, no title for boys 12-17, and “Mx.” for gender-neutral children. Boys age 12-17 are addressed without a title until they turn 18 and takes the title of Mr.

* Children over the age of 18, even if they are still living in the same household, should receive their own separate invitation. 

 

MARRIED, SAME SEX, SAME LAST NAME:

• Mrs. Emily Smith and Mrs. Jenna Smith

• Mrs. and Mrs. Smith

* Include the word "and" to show that they are married. List alphabetically or based on who you know better.

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MARRIED, SAME SEX, DIFFERENT LAST NAME:

• Mr. Jack Smith and Mr. Liam Williams

* Include the word "and" to show that they are married. List alphabetically or based on who you know better.

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Distinguished Titles: If a person has a distinguished title, whether its military, elected official, or degree, they are listed with their appropriate titles and in order of ranking. 

 

MARRIED, HUSBAND IS A DOCTOR:

• Doctor and Mrs. Jack Smith

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MARRIED, WIFE IS A DOCTOR:

• Doctor Emily Smith and Mr. Jack Smith

* Listed on the same line. Wife is listed first.

 

MARRIED, BOTH ARE DOCTORS:

• The Doctors Smith

• Drs. Smith

• Drs. Emily and Jack Smith

 

OTHER OFFICIAL TITLES

• The Reverend John Alexander

• The Honorable Suzanne Thomas

• Captain Janese Williams

• Colonel and Mrs. Ryan Smith

* For most politicians and religious leaders put THE in front of their title followed by their first and last name.

* For military, do not include branch of service on social correspondence... weddings invites are social correspondence!

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Street Addresses:

Spell out numbers ten and below. 

Do not abbreviate (except for Mr., Ms., and Mrs.)

Write out the words "Street," "Boulevard," "Avenue," etc.

Do not use symbols

 

Return Addresses

The return address usually goes on the back flap of the envelope. It should be the person(s) responsible for receiving the response cards, which could be the bride, groom, mother of the bride, sister, etc. Typically, whoever is hosting the wedding handles the response cards. Traditionally speaking, the return address should be handwritten. In today’s world, not so much. Return addresses are usually printed directly on the back flap of the envelope.

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A Note About Inner and Outer Envelopes

Double envelope sets are a wedding tradition, made up of an outer mailing envelope and a smaller, ungummed inner envelope that houses the wedding invitation suite. Double envelope sets protect the invitation during its rough journey from post office to doorstep and ensures that your piece of mail arrives in pristine condition. With the use of automated readers and sorting machines at post offices nowadays, envelopes arrive to their destinations relatively unharmed and therefore, double envelope sets are no longer necessary. However, they can convey a sense of formality and create keepsake-worthy presentation of your wedding invitation.

 

Double envelope sets are also a polite way to specify who (and who isn’t) invited to your wedding. For example, if the outer envelope is addressed to parents, the inner envelope will indicate if children are welcome to attend by listing them. For outer envelopes addressed to individuals, the inner envelope will indicate if they are welcome to bring a plus one by adding “and guest.”

 

If you are a client of mine and are interested in doing double envelopes, let me know and I’d be happy to guide you in how to set up addresses and answer any questions.

 

A More Modern Wedding?

Again, ALL etiquette relies on formality, so use this guide to fit the formality of your own wedding. If you’re going a less traditional route, you can nix the titles altogether. The most common modern addressing etiquette is to simply use the guests’ given name + surname. You can style them with symbols, ampersands, etc. For example:

Dan & Sally Jackson

123 Main Street

Saint Louis, Missouri 63105

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Free Wedding Guest Excel/Sheets Template

Feel free to download and use this template to help you organize your guests. Tweak and adjust the columns to suit your needs. If you are a client of mine, I will need the address columns filled in when it comes time to print or do calligraphy on the envelopes. Download here!

 

Doing an inner and outer envelope? Use this template!